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Actions speak louder than words

Actions speak louder than words

Actions speak louder than words. The difference between words and actions matters.
Actions speak louder than words. The difference between words and actions matters.

Actions speak louder than words. Good or bad, a person’s actions will tell you everything you need to know. Pay attention.

Hard Knocks

There have been formative people in my life whose actions spoke louder than their words at both ends of the spectrum. Some pretty bad, some really awesome. 

Have you had a catastrophic experience in your life that has possibly been holding you back from creating a successful life for you and the ones you love? Most of us have. Some of us have unfortunately experienced more than one. 

Whether it be the loss of a loved one or possibly even the loss of several loved ones in an accident or other horific event, a robbery, a sexual assault, an abusive parent or spouse or any other horrible thing that has the ability to create great sadness and despair in one’s life. Those types of significant negative experiences can change people forever. They can create a great deal of sorrow and totally shut a person down.

Reframe

They don’t have to. It is possible to reframe your mind and use that energy in a positive direction. Only you have the power to do this. No one else can do it for you. How do I know this? I’ve done it. 

It took me a lot of years to come to this realization. I went through several decades before I was able to really begin to put things into the correct perspective. Unfortunately, I went through a lot of my years with great sadness in my heart before figuring it out. 

If you have experienced things in your life that have caused you extreme sadness, I hope this post speaks to you and helps you come to some new realizations. Life is truly much more enjoyable from that point forward. 

As many of you already know, hard rock/heavy metal is one of my favorite music genres of choice. Papa Roach has a song entitled F.E.A.R. (Face Everything And Rise!) I absolutely love that! 🤘🤘

In The Beginning

The first ten years of my life, I grew up with my mom and my grandmother. When I was ten years old, my mom’s company transferred us to a new town. She met a guy and married him. At first, I was excited to finally have a dad. Turns out, my new step-father was an asshole and his kids, my new step-siblings weren’t any better.  Actions speak louder than words.

Life is not about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself. Make it happen!
Life is not about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself. Make it happen!

Growing up, I had great sadness deep inside of me because I didn’t have a dad like my friends did. My mom and biological father weren’t married and when she told him she was pregnant with me, he disappeared faster than Houdini. When I was sixteen, my mom contacted him and told him I wanted to meet him. We drove two and a half hours to the city he lived in. He owned a car lot there. A salesman came out to our car. Mom told him we had a meeting with my father. The salesman told us he had just left for an out-of-state meeting thirty minutes prior to our arrival. Well, hell! I was devastated again. Clearly, he didn’t want anything to do with me whatsoever. How can someone do that to their child? 

What The Hell!?

I remember one night when I was in high school, I was out with a bunch of friends and this topic came up in casual conversation. I totally broke down. It just happened. I had no idea I was even capable of breaking down like that. It was like the flood gates had been opened and all of those tears that had been storing up for years were released at once. I never broke down like that again but clearly, I was struggling quite a bit on the inside. More so than I even realized. 

Silver Linings

I was so focused on the bad things, I took the awesome things totally for granted. 

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are. Your reputation is just what others think you are.
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are. Your reputation is just what others think you are.

My mom had one sister. She was my Aunt Carole. She married the man who would become my Uncle Harold. Aunt Carole and Uncle Harold were awesome people. They understood I didn’t have a dad and my step-father was a piece of crap.

They involved me in everything in their family lives. When Santa came at Christmas, he left me the same kickass Christmas presents he left their son. When they took their family on vacation, they took me with them. When I was on summer break from school, I spent that time at their house. Every 4th of July was spent at their house. Uncle Harold taught me how to fish, hunt, water ski, operate a boat, took me out to dinner,  to the movies with them and so much more. But you know what the number one thing he taught me was? He taught me that Actions Speak Louder Than Words. But, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees back then.

I am telling my story because it is what I know best. But, it wasn’t just me. Over the fifty years we had together, I watched Uncle Harold positively impact the lives of many. I watched his Actions Speak Louder Than Words many times over. Some he helped were family, some were friends, some were acquaintances and some were people he didn’t even know but he knew he could help them. 

I took all of that for granted for so many years because I was so consumed with the inner sadness I was totally focused on. I was only focused on me. Selfish! I wish I had been able to see it earlier. Today, my hope is that I can help you see the good, better than the bad, earlier than I was able to see it. 

Paying It Forward

I spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was a little boy. I had asthma pretty bad and apparently, living in an oxygen tent was the answer. I spent quite a bit of my first five years in that damn thing. It wasn’t an awesome experience to say the least but the big picture shows it gave me experiences that made me who I am today. 

Little Tony was down the hall a few rooms. Tony was battling cancer but I didn’t know that at the time. Tony came down and visited me a lot. That meant a lot to me but I also took it for granted. His struggle was much greater than mine but I had been focused on me. I eventually got better, got out of the hospital, completely forgot about that experience and went on with my life.

Recently, my mom and I were talking about it and I made the comment that I wondered what Tony had ended up doing with his life. She said, “Grant, you don’t remember? Tony passed away. He was battling cancer and he lost his battle.” I had no idea. At least, I don’t think I did. Now, I’m not so sure.

I have been working hard the past ten years to raise money for childhood cancer research through the St. Baldrick’s Foundation. It is an absolutely awesome organization. The event I’m a part of has raised a quarter of a million dollars in that ten year span. Maybe there is a correlation there I just can’t remember and maybe it’s just a coincidence. Either way, it’s very interesting. 

I’m proud to be part of the St. Baldrick’s Foundation. There is still a ton of work to be done and it is going to take a lot more money being raised in order to make the progress we are after.

I would love for you to be a part of our yearly event. Go to www.SoCoHatesCancer.com and sign up and create a team. Please feel free to incorporate “Advance Dynamix” into part of your team name. It would be super cool if we can get to the point where we have a bunch of different Advance Dynamix teams participating and helping to raise the funds necessary to stamp out childhood cancers for good! Our big event is in March each year. We have live music, food, green beer and lemonade, raffles, silent auctions, tons of head-shaving and all kinds of other fun stuff. It’s always a big party. Come join us at the next one! 

Giving Back

I was in my forties when I first began to do volunteer work. Over the last ten years, I have done a lot of volunteer work for The St. Baldrick’s Foundation, The Fraternal Order of Eagles, The Young Marines and others. I have gotten much more than I have given during that time. I have absolutely awesome friends I have made through doing volunteer work. I just went on a cruise last week with friends I met through doing volunteer work. We are friends for life. Great people with great hearts seem to be drawn to volunteer organizations. If you don’t currently participate in any type of volunteer organization, I highly recommend you find one that you feel strongly about and begin paying it forward. You will be amazed at the amount of enjoyment you get from helping others. 

What Do You See?

“Two men in prison look out through the bars. One sees mud, the other sees stars.”

Life is truly how you look at it. I believe there is an upside/silver linings to just about everything. How you choose to see your significant life events determines your level of happiness and drive. 

No matter where you are in life, I highly recommend the works of Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins. Many of their books are available for free in your local public library. Tony has a ton of free stuff available on YouTube too. I saw Zig live in 1998 and instantly fell in love with the way he thought. He was a damn good man. Mom used to say, “garbage in, garbage out.” The same holds true for positive content as well. Zig and Tony have created tons of solid, positive content. It is just sitting there, waiting for you to consume it. It will help you change your entire perspective on life and subsequently enjoy life much, much more. 

If you have experienced things in your life that have caused you extreme sadness, I hope this post speaks to you and helps you come to some new realizations. Life is truly much more enjoyable from that point forward. 

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